Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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