You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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