How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize