Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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