I think scott just propositioned me for sex
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize