I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
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