I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize