Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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