My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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