I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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