if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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