just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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