im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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