I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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