I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize