The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How does it feel to date your dad?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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