found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm having to shit out rocks
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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