I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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