My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
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My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
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I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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