we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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