Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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