I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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