it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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