I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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