I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
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If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
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My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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