I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize