She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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