eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
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I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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