Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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