i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize