my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
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I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
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Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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