I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize