i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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