if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
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I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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