Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize