Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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