They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
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Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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