and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My cat gives me a boner
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize