I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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