Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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