Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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