i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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