if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize