She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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