Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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