I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize