No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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