Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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