I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize