I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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