If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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